Do Cockroaches read my blog????????

It’s just yesterday I wrote about cockroaches in my blog and today there is a cockroach in my room.
Someone from the cockroach’s community should have read my blog and sent a warrior cockroach to attack me. That's why, it escaped before dad could kill it and is hiding somewhere in my room to attack me tonight.
But I have come to know its plan and I’m not going to take any risk. Tonight, I’ve exchanged my room with my parents. :)
But I just pray I don’t get those cockroach dreams again :(

Why does gnaneshwar write books?

When you were in the school, did you ever wonder who wrote those entire text books, which we had to read whole year??? I did.
A very smart kid would directly go and ask his parents and get the correct answer immediately.
A happy go lucky kid would think, "what will I do even if I come to know who wrote these text books???" and just forgets about it.
A little confused and a little stupid kid like me would use their extra smart brain and come to a conclusion all by themselves.


It was the end of summer holidays and we were covering my text books with brown cover.
While doing that, I asked my dad the most stupid question.
"Dad, why does ganeshwar write these books??? He writes all these books that’s why we have to read them!!!! Else no problem at all.”


It's only later i realized that, gnaneshwar was not the author of any of my school text books. Gnaneshwar was the owner of the stationery shop opposite to my school where i used to buy all my text books.
I still think of this instance and laugh at myself, thinking how stupid I was in my childhood.

Dreams and Nightmares

People say dreaming is a mental disability; if it is true then I’ve reached the last stage of it.
Yes, I get dreams nearly every night. I remember few of them, some I don't. It actually depends on the way I get up in the morning. If the first thought in my mind as soon as I wake up is about what I dreamt, then I can recollect things quiet clearly. But if my first thought as soon as get up is something other than what I dreamt, then I only remember that I had a dream last night.


I still remember my first and the weirdest dream till now. It was in my school days.I unhappily went to bed thinking of going to school the next day.


I am standing at the bus stop with my sisters, waiting for the RTC bus. It’s a pleasant morning with all familiar faces at the bust stop. Now you will say what is weird in this??? :)
I was at the bus stop in my night dress and with a tooth brush and tooth paste in my hand.
I was just holding tooth brush in my hand as if I was waiting for some good "muhoorath" to start brushing. Suddenly I realize that I forgot my school bag.
My sisters started shouting at me, and then as the bus arrived they said, "It’s ok; manage one day without the school bag". I was all scared that how will I manage without a school bag; I’ll be punished in all the classes.
We get into the bus and that is the end of my dream.


From that day till now I’m wondering why I was standing at the bus stop holding a tooth brush and wearing a night dress. How stupid I was, I was getting tensed about the school bag, when I didn’t even wear my school dress, for which I wouldn’t be allowed to enter the school gate.


Later I dreamt about many other things. Some of them like, I'm in a house all surrounded by snakes, I murdered someone on the way to my house and then I’m burying that person under the coconut trees at my house, Attending my friend’s wedding, investigating a murder which happened at my house and then the murderer turned out to be a ghost, visiting my future husband's home and so on.


Well, murders and ghost in my dreams are still dreams for me, not nightmares. Because Murders and ghost don’t scare me, when the one that scares me comes in my dream then that is a real nightmare.
No one on this earth would get such dream/nightmare. No one can ever guess it.


Did you ever get a dream that there are cockroaches on your bed????
I dreamt that there are several cockroaches on my bed, to take revenge against me. Revenge because, whenever I find a cockroach at home I scream till my dad or someone kills it. So, they all came on my bed to take revenge. I donno if they were going to eat me up or something but as soon I saw that one of the cockroach was climbing on my hand I screamed and I woke up. I hardly slept that night. I switched on the light 10-12 times that night, just to check if there were any cockroaches really on my bed.


So you can now tell my level of mental instability.

Promises are meant to be broken!!!

The person who coined this phrase was heartless!!!!
I still don’t understand how people break their promises. When you promise something to someone, that something should be the top priority work. Well if we look the other way, I think I am wrong. People never promise at all, they just say "I promise", but not from the core of their heart. If heart and all in this sentence looks very filmy, then we can say that they do not have commitment to keep up their words.


"I promise". It’s just two words, so easy to tell... So hard to keep it up.
If you casually ask a person who promised you something that, "why didn’t you keep up your promise?” they just throw their hands in the air and wave it round like they just don’t care. At that moment one should promise themselves that if they get a chance they'll hit that person black and blue.


If you angrily go and ask a person who promised u something that, "why didn’t you keep up your promise?” they either give you the right reasons, which are always acceptable, but the worst they can do is "I don’t have any other work, other than keeping up your promises???"
When this sentence comes out, I think one should hit themselves black and blue, for taking this stupid step in their life, not about making friendship with that person, but believing so much in that person.


These days, I don't take risks in my life by expecting things which can't happen, or waiting for someone.
Most importantly I never ask anyone to promise anything, because nothing can hurt me more than someone breaking my promise. There are few people on this earth (some of your so called friends), who come forward and promise us that they'll do this and that. One can’t stop them from promising. Sometimes scared of the consequences one can ask them not to promise anything which they can't keep up, but few people never listen to others.I don’t know what one should say about these kinds of friends. Because no doubt they will make you believe that they have given a promise which they will never break and snap there goes the promise.


One thing is true, it never hurts the person who breaks it, but one can never imagine the pain of the other person.


Many a times I thought of giving them a taste of their own medicine, but then I thought “why make the other person go through that pain?” Maybe for such people one should prioritize between their friendship and their promise. Everything which happens in life is learning. I have learnt something and wish you people also too know it and never break a promise or at least never make a promise.

Rain is falling!!!!

School days are real fun, especially when you are forced to talk English at your school!!!!


When I was in 3rd standard, two of my friends and I decided that we would speak only in English.....not only during school hours but also in the bus. I knew they wanted to avoid teaching me Telugu, but I thought it was for our own good and I agreed.


When we had to talk to a teacher we used to form our sentences before hand, but when we had to talk among ourselves, we never did that, because we knew "the other person knows English as much as I know".


Things were fine till no one else listened to our conversations, at least people who didn't know English, like the RTC bus drivers. They were all our friends, we used to sit beside the driver and talk in English as if we are blessed with some divine powers to talk in that language. Some times when my mom took the RTC bus, some of our driver friends told mom that we are very intelligent and we speak only in English.


My sisters were also in the same school, so they used to come with us in the bus, or you can say we used to travel with them in the bus, but they never preferred to sit or stand near the bonnet.


One day fortunately or unfortunately, we three were sitting in the 3rd or 4th seat and my sister was standing beside us.That day, it suddenly started drizzling. One of my friends put her hand out of the window and said..."Water is falling!!!!!"


 My sis gave a weird look and said "what did you say???" Looking at her face expression I understood, there was a problem in the sentence formation. I didn’t want her to laugh at us..... So, before my sis corrected my friend, I corrected her... "Hey... you don't say, water is falling... you say rain is falling". The next moment my sis burst out in laughter.... "What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". It was embarrassing for all three of us.....


She said... "Superb... one says water is falling... the other says rain is falling..... :)You don't say it that way...you say.... It’s raining"


After this incident, we became a bit cautious, not about forming sentences, but checking if no one is overhearing us :) After all we learn from our mistakes, so it was compulsory for us to make mistakes ;)

My Shayari days!!

I am a great fan of "Mr. Harivansh Rai Bachchan" from the time i read "Need ka nirmaan phir phir" in my 10th class and when i listened to "madhushaala" i just went crazy about his poems.


During my engineering second year, I tried to poke my head into writing “sher”. I told myself … “I know I’m not “Ghalib” or “Harivansh Rai Bachchan”, but what’s the big deal in writing small poems??? Just take rarely used complicated Hindi or Urdu words, Join them and you become a shayar”


Things like this generally come to your mind, when you are studying some subject in which you are not interested. One such subject was control systems (CS). So I thought why not give it a try, Will write a four liner poem on CS internal and SMS it to my sister in Chennai.


I’m sure you guys will have a hearty laugh at my foolish poems :)




CS अच्छा पढ़ी, बुरा लिखी
PDC बुरा पढ़ी, अच्छा लिखी
जिसको पटाना था, व्हो नहीं पटा
जो पट्चुकी थी, व्हो और पटी




This was my first poem :)
I was feeling proud for writing this sher, and told myself "I have taken my first step to reach Harivansh Rai bachchan's level"


After a week, I got my Control systems internal marks. They were not really good. I didn't even take 5 minutes to write my second poem
कण्ट्रोल सिस्टम तोह निकल पड़ा
बड़े जोश से वोह चल पड़ा
कण्ट्रोल बेचारा छूट गया
टाइटैनिक बन के डूब गया




This time I read it out to my friend. Though she didn't know Hindi, She said, "Its really good. I think you should start taking this "poems" thing seriously and write some really good poems" :) There was no end to my happiness. This was my second step towards Harivansh Rai Bachchan's level. :)


From next day onwards, In the bus i used to think of tough words in hindi or urdu like "किरदार, बसेरा, विग्नयन..." and so on...
Looking at posters on the way, long empty roads, someone walking alone... i used to take them as my inspirations.
As soon as i form a line, would immediately jot it down in my mobile drafts. Then think for a second line for that poem. This was the way i wrote quiet a few poems, until i ran out of tough words i knew.


Most of the poems didn't make any sense, but the lines were rhyming so i considered them as poems with abstract meanings or in short "abstract poems" :)


Let me put down a poem, which i wrote for 3 days and at the end i never understood what it meant. Every time i read it, i have a hearty laugh


मौत के आगे ज़िन्दगी का क्या केहना
दर्द के आगे दिल्लगी का क्या केहना
दर्द तोह इबादत  है, जब ज़िन्दगी की बुरी हालत है
मौत तोह क़यामत है, जब दिल्लगी में शिकायत है
मगर कौन जाने इस शेर का क्या अर्थ है


 :) hehe
I think you are confused about what you read just now. Looking at this poem you can say the amount of importance i gave in adding complicated words and negligence towards, if it made any sense :)
But it was fun. :)


Slowly i came to know that i was not climbing the steps to reach the level of Harivansh Rai Bachchan, but was putting his life to risk by writing such a poem every other day. Mr. Harivansh Rai Bachchan is lucky that he is no more, to read these poems now that I'm posting them here.


These are some of my sher


आपको देखा तोह लगा जैसे
देखा है आपको पहले कई बार 
जो अब देखूं तोह लगता है जैसे
देखूं आप को बार बार






दुनिया के इस जंगल में
नहीं कोई रास्ता
जिस तरफ हम बढ़ चले
अब उसी से अपना वास्ता


 आप की आवाज़ का क्या केहना
जैसे पीपल के पेड़ पे गा रही हो मैना
सुनने वालों ने तारीफ क्या किया
जलने वालों ने नज़र लगा दिया


And this is my favorite


ज़िन्दगी जैसे एक उदास कहानी
कोई मिटा रहा हो रंग सुहानी
हर किरदार निभाना हो गया है परेशानी
कब इस कहानी की अंत है आनी


Well, this was my madness towards writing poems. Soon, i ran out of words, time and interest.

In the exam hall, what you write in your answer sheet is not important, where you are seated is more important!!!!!!!

I’m sure if my friends are reading this, they’ll say… “Waah… kya story hai….!!!!!!!!”  Absolutely unreal :) So lets get started with the real story.


With lots of effort, trying to hold back my tears, I asked my HOD “For how many days??”
He replied without any expression on his face “Indefinitely… You are suspended indefinitely”.
I don’t remember if my heart was functioning at that moment, but I was sure that my brain wasn't and only my tear glands were :)


Have you ever seen school kids standing in front of the principal’s office the whole day as a punishment??? :) I did the same, not in school, but in engineering final year. Though that was not the punishment, it was a hope that looking at our innocent faces he may say… “Jao baksh diya (Go you are forgiven)”


Let me start my version of the most embarrassing day in my life.


It was 4th internal of my last subject (PC based Instrumentation). Not at all a tough exam, with no text books or any reference, there was nothing my HOD could compare our answers with. All we knew is what he knew and all he knew is what we knew. As usual I was studying till the last minute and by the time i entered the classroom, the objective papers were already distributed. 5mins out of 20 were already lost in looking out for a pen and I could not think of losing any more time in looking for my seat.


Adding more tension to my life, someone who wrote their internal horribly the previous day showed their anger on the seating arrangement sheet. Trying not to forget the answers, I tried to remember the bench in which I sat the previous day. Somehow I could locate the part of the room where I sat the previous day but could not find the correct bench. With lots of confusion if it was the 2nd bench or the 3rd bench, I opted the 3rd one.


The amazing part is that none of my nearby roll numbers had come to the exam hall. :(
"Haila.... koi toh aa jao... aur mujhe batao...mera seat kaunsa hai??? (Haila... Someone please come... and tell me which seat is mine???)"
My strong feeling said “Where you sit is not important, how you write the paper is important”


I started with my objective paper, successfully finished it and started with my subjective paper. As there was no text book for this subject, the answers were not really big. I could easily write all the 4 answers within time, though only 2 were compulsory.


Just 5mins after the subjective paper was given all the other roll numbers before me and after me came to the exam hall. As the objective paper time was up, they were not given the objective papers and were made to sit idle for the next 20 mins with the subjective papers.


Looking at few faces I could say what was going on in their mind
“arey yaar…. Objective paper mein atleast a,b,c,d option daal ke 20 mein se 10 marks toh laa lete the… abhi is subjective paper mein question ke alaava kuch nahi likh sakhthe.... Idhar aana he waste ho gaya” (Boss... atleast in objective paper we would have chosen a,b,c,d randomly and gained atleast 10 out of 20 marks .... but now in this subjective paper we know nothing other than the question itself... coming to exam itself was totally waste)


As usual the invigilator started taking attendance, and she came to know that we were not seated in an order. My bad time had started long back… I could feel that, but the feeling that exam is important than seating arrangement was dominating the other feelings.
I had completed 2 answers and was writing the 3rd one, when she came to my desk and asked me my name and roll number, scribbled something and went back to her place silently. I was not at all interested in what she was doing. I finished all my 4 questions and came out happily, if not objective paper, at least subjective paper I’ll get 20.


By the time I came out of the class room, bad time had left long back, now it was the worst time.
I happily had my lunch, went to library and was returning from the library when we happened to pass from the EIE staff room. HOD called me in and asked me in a very casual way
“How was your internal? what happened today?”


I was wondering… “Haila.....what happened? Did I write my answers so bad… he is so shocked looking at my answers that he is asking me the same day. Can't even wait till he distributes the papers in the classroom!!!"
I said, “It was good. I wrote all the answers. They were all expected ones”
“No what else happened while writing the exam?” he asked.
I was still taking it very light… “Oh!!! That thing… The invigilator said that we were sitting in the wrong places. That’s it!!!!!!!!”
RR sir gave a weird smile… “Your invigilator complained to the principal, that 7 of you were sitting together and were copying”


I was still with my over confidence that everyone in this college knows that I am a very innocent and studious girl and these people were just trying to scare me, so i gave a smile and said “ Oh!!! Is it….??? But we did not copy at all!!”

My HOD in his as usual calm style said “Your answer sheets are in the principal’s office and you’ll have to meet him at 2 O clock. Its a big issue”.


The next moment I knew, I was in deep trouble. I silently went to the class and told this to all my friends… They told to their others friends and other friends told their other friends. This way the whole class came to know and also the other 6 guys who were accused of copying like I was.


It was 2 O Clock, while entering princi's office I could listen my mind saying “Santoshi haazir ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
All the guys were standing behind me and I was standing beside my HOD. The room was absolutely dark like a jail's interrogation room.


“So you people copied. You want to tell anything???” He said trying to look angry.
I started… “Sir actually I was late to the exam hall, the seating arrangement sheet was not …” Before I could complete my sentence… “Why were you late to the exam??”


My second track said “Is that important now???? What a fool!!!!!!!!! There can be 'n' reasons for me to be late....”


I said, “Sir but we did not copy. You can check our answer sheets”


“You need not tell me what to do. I know everything” he replied.


Somehow one of the guy behind me took lots of courage and said, “Sir, How can you tell that we copied… Look at my paper, I came 20 mins late to the exam hall, so I was not given the objective paper and you can check my subjective paper, it’s absolutely empty"


Another guy added to it.. “yes sir.. have a look at our papers”



In my second track, I was smiling… “what does this idiot princi think?? We copied neatness from each other??? But he couldn't say that to me… My paper was not neat unlike the other answer sheets. With lots of effort I had written the optional questions too”


Problems had already risen till our neck and we got completely drowned in to problems when princi came to know that the 6th guy was missing. He had left the campus after the internal.


My mind said... "Lucky Guy!!!!!!!!! We are facing all the tensions and he doesn't even know that he is accused of copying and is going to be suspended”


Princi didn't move from his position .. “I think he was thinking, If he had hair on his head, he wuld have scratched it, then I wuld be sure that he was thinking..because you can making nothing out of his face expressions” he then said… “You can leave.”
That's it. We came out and then…waited for our HOD to come out. The whole class was present in front of Princi’s offce. We narrated the story to every gang of our class.


Our HOD came out. One can never find out the answers from his face, He is always calm and quiet. No change of expression on his face. :) We had to wait till he narrated everything.
He said….”You are suspended.. You cannot attend any classes. ”
I asked …“For how many days??” 
He replied “Indefinitely… You are indefinitely suspended”.

With tears rolling down my cheeks I couldn't speak. Within no time a student’s association type of thing formed in our class and everyone said “If they are not attending classes… then no one is attending classes”. We are at strike.


Discussion on whether to start a strike or not went on for an hour. It was 3PM by then. My HOD somehow convinced everyone saying “Don’t make the situation worse… I’ll try to solve it. Everyone go to class and wait”

I had no hopes, my HOD can never solve it..he was a simple straightforward person. But I knew, that atleast in EIE department all the lecturer's believe that we did not copy. They even knew, princi only wanted to hype this issue so that students don’t copy. We were the guinea pigs.


5 guys and I stood for the next three hours in front of princi’s office. The college bell rang and every one came out staring at us...wondering why we were standing there... making guesses. The embarrassment which we 6 people went through was inestimable. Well, this was the end of problem for all the guys, but there was a twist waiting for me.


Princi didn’t like it when we stood all the time in front of his office without saying a word. He couldn't just sit quiet, he wanted make it look more ugly and he did the worst thing a person can do :)


Phone rang at my home!!!! My mom picked up…


“I am Santoshi’s principle speaking. Your daughter was sitting with 6 other boys in the class and copying. We have suspended her from the college.”


My mom got tensed….She called me up… My mobile was switched of. She called back Princi “where is my daughter??? I wanna talk to her… Ask her to call me up”


I was silently sitting in my bus when the peon came and said, “principal wants to talk to you”
I was thinking….“Abhi insult karna baaki hai kya?? (Is he not yet done Insulting me???) Should I be standing in front of his office the whole night???”


I went directly into his office, he said “Your mother called up. She wants to talk to you”
I said, “Ok. I’ll call her up,” and I turned back to leave.
“”, Pointing to his desk phone he said “Call up from here”


My mom said “Come back home directly and don’t cry and give the phone to your principal”


She couldn't control her anger….”What nonsense is this??? If you think she copied, make her sit beside you and give her the toughest question paper. You’ll come to know she need not copy to pass the exam and I know she is not the type of girl who roams with boys” (I couldn't hear my mom say this but after coming home my mom told me, so I know )
I could see the change on his face. He had no answer!!!  “Look maam, her invigilator reported and I took action. I can't do anything”  he said


Then he put down the phone and said, “Why did you sit in the wrong seat if didn't wanna copy?”
I replied, “I was late.. I didn't even know I was sitting at the wrong place. You gimme another paper now, I’ll write it very much in front of you. Then atleast you’ll believe that I didn’t copy.”

The worse had already happened, so I didn't think before telling him anything. He gave a weird expression and I knew it was time for me to leave. I left his office and directly went home.


Next day I went to college as usual. All my friends said, “Forget it now… Come and sit in the class”. When I looked at my HOD he said, “No, don’t go against him and make him angry”


All the classes were going on and I was sitting idle in front of princi's office. Only one hour was left for lunch, when  my HOD came and said, “Your work is done, All of you have to do is write a letter that you’ll not copy again and give it to the principal. Then you can attend your classes.”

"What a relief!!!!!!!!!"

But not so early... there was a small twist again!!!!

The guys said, “No!!!!! Why should we accept that we copied when we did not copy at all???”


I didn't support the guys. To come out of this embarrassing situation, I was ready to accept that I have copied from childhood till now. Standing in front of principal’s office like an 8 year old kid, at the age of 20 was heights of embarrassment and why do I have to fear when I know that I am not wrong and the world can put me to test and they will know the truth.


Somehow our lecturers convinced everyone and we wrote a letter, signed it and submitted it to the principal. I donno what did he get with all this nonsense, but I didn't think of that again. I was back to normal. No one picked that point again ever.


The moment princi said "you can attend your classes" I ran towards the temporary classroom where Operating Systems class was going on while every one decided that they’ll start attending classes after lunch. I excused my OS sir to enter the room. Everyone's face in my class brightened up and my always confused looking OS sir was looking less confused and more happy to find me back in his class, so that he can look at me after every 5mins, give me a sweet smile and read my face expression to find out if I was understanding what he was explaining or not :)


That's how the most embarrassing situation in my life ended. None of my friends brought up that topic again but I was happy because now I clearly knew who were my true friends and who was faking all the time. 

This whole experience taught me some two things :
1) Never expect people to help you when you are trouble.
2) In the exam hall, where you sit is more important than what you write in your paper.

The Beginning

Finally!!!!!!!!! I have started blogging....
Recently I came to know that ones life should be an open book, to maintain a blog... Not sure if I'll be able to do that, but will try my level best if my friends co-operate and gimme some good content to write :)
Best of Luck To Me !!!!!!!